The Boys' Guide to Growth Mindset: A Can-Do Approach to Building Confidence, Resilience, and Courage

CHAPTER ONE

WHAT IS A GROWTH MINDSET?

As you continue to grow, so does your brain. It changes in exciting ways and has limitless potential to learn. Since the age of two, your brain has been developing connections through everyday experiences. These connections have been shaped by your environment. At your present age, you are now able to tell the difference between something that’s very hard and something that is not very hard. This is typically when you start showing characteristics of growth mindsets and fixed mindsets.

Growth Mindsets versus Fixed Mindsets

Growth mindset is believing in yourself and your ability to overcome challenges. Have you ever seen a toddler try to do something that they can’t yet do on their own, like walk or climb? After trying and failing, do they quit, or do they keep trying? I’ve never seen a toddler want something and give up without being assisted by an adult. This dedication and persistence are part of a growth mindset.

The opposite of a growth mindset is a fixed mindset. When you have a fixed mindset, you believe that skills are things you are born with. If you are not good at something, your fixed mindset thinks you will never be good at it, no matter how much work you put in. Here are a few examples:

Growth mindset: I appreciate and welcome feedback because it helps me learn and grow.

Fixed mindset: When I receive feedback, it feels like disapproval.

Growth mindset: Learning to skate is tricky, but I know I will get better.

Fixed mindset: Some people are just naturally good skaters. I’ll never be like them.

Growth mindset: There is always room for improvement.

Fixed mindset: I’m already a really good writer. I don’t need to get any better.

TRY THIS! MY MINDSET

Highlight the example in each row that best describes you. It’s important to be honest. If your responses lean toward a fixed mindset, don’t worry. This is normal! Everyone has areas where they’ll fit the growth mindset and areas where they’ll fit the fixed mindset.

Studying the Growth Mindset

Over thirty years ago, psychologist Dr. Carol Dweck developed the concept of growth mindset. Her research found that there is power in believing you can do something. She described how beliefs influence what people want and whether they are successful in achieving those things. Dweck’s work shows that people who have a growth mindset see challenges as ways to improve. They are often better prepared to face problems and learn from them.

Think about a time you wanted to do something without realizing how difficult it was. Your first instinct might have been to stop. But if you kept going and tried to find ways around the challenge, you were showing a growth mindset. Dweck says that a growth mindset is essential for success. The good news is that growth mindset skills can be learned. You’ve already started developing these skills by reading this book!

Principles of a Growth Mindset

A growth mindset isn’t defined as just one thing. Following are some of the principles that combine to make a growth mindset.

*Effort and hard work are the keys to success, not just talent. Everyone is talented at something. You still need to work hard to strengthen and further improve upon that talent to get the most out of it.

*Mistakes and failures help you learn. We all make mistakes—no one is perfect. What’s important is learning from mistakes and trying not to repeat them.

*You can create positive thoughts. When unhelpful thoughts creep in, you can reframe them. This is a way to push out negativity. For example, I knew that assignment was going to be too hard for me; I should not have tried! can be reframed as That assignment was really tough, but I’ll be better prepared next time.

*Frustration is a normal part of growth. The fact that you get frustrated when you make mistakes shows that you care. The next time you fail at something and experience frustration, allow yourself the time and space to feel it. Then start to think of different ways you could make improvements.

*Feedback and criticism are important for change. Taking feedback can be difficult. Just remember that when people give feedback, it’s because they want to see you succeed.

TRY THIS! REMIX

Let’s practice reframing unhelpful thoughts. Reframing is when you actively notice unhelpful thoughts in your mind and change them into more useful thoughts. It’s like how remixing a song can put a new spin on it.

Draw a line from each unhelpful thought to its reframed form. In the empty spaces at the bottom, write an unhelpful thought that has crossed your mind. Then try reframing it! The more you practice reframing your unhelpful thoughts, the less they will have a negative impact.

Discovering Your Passions

When you have passion for something, you really care about it. Think about someone you admire. It could be anyone—a professional athlete, a world-class gamer, or your local Scout leader who organizes cool activities. The fact that you can identify them means you recognize their hard work. Their passion has led to success. Developing a growth mindset can help you discover your passions and put you on a similar path to success.

Being disciplined to work for many, many hours is an act of passion. The person you admire didn’t become successful overnight. They had to start somewhere, and they had to use a growth mindset to keep at it. Think about how you approach the things you are passionate about. How does that passion translate? For example, if you are passionate about singing or rapping,